Why did the woman cross the street?

Who cares! Why is she out of the kitchen? And where did she get the shoes?

Bob and Ted meet in the grocery store. Ted asks, "What did you do last night?"

"I watched a movie with Jenna Jameson," Bob replies.

"How was it?"

"I thought it was fine," Bob says, "but Jenna hated it."

Why didn't Bruce Willis got a part in the movie "The Titanic"?
- Because he would've saved them all.

Two muffins were sitting in an oven and one asked the other "What are we doing in here?" and the other one said "Oh my God, a talking muffin!"