A couple in a car find an injured skunk in the road. Being animal lovers they pick it up and the woman places it on her lap. "What about the smell" she asks her husband. "You'll just have to hold its nose" he replies....

A husband and wife had a new computer.
The computer required them to enter a new password.
Husband, feeling randy, typed in PENIS.
An error message appeared, saying 'PASSWORD REJECTED, NOT LONG ENOUGH'
The wife burst out laughing!!

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, made of plastic and is dangerous to small children.
The other has handles.

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules.

"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"

His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night ... whether you're here or not."

Little Johnny goes to the teacher after class and asks:
- "Can a student call teacher a 'pig'?"
- "No! Most certainly he may not!"
- "And can he call pig a 'teacher'?"
After carefull thinking she replies:
- "Yes... I suppose one could"
- "OK then! Goodbye...... TEACHER!"