What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

Run like hell ... she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

College Rules
spacer


On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"

One student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"

There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,

"Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"

The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked. "She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'."

Why did the blonde cross the road?

Forget the road, what the hell was she doing out of the bedroom!?

One day this guy dies and, not surprisingly, goes to Hell. Upon arrival at the fiery gates, he is directed to a waiting room. He notices many clocks on the walls, and each one seems to be running at a different speed.

Satan finishes up with someone and comes out into the waiting room, where the guy says, "Hi, Mr. Satan. Enjoying Hell so far, but I have a question. What's with all the clocks in here?"

Satan smiles. "Oh, those aren't clocks. Each of those represents a man, and every time a man masturbates, his particular representation makes a complete revolution."

The guy seems intrigued and asks, "Do you know where mine is?"

"Yes," the Prince of Darkness replies. "It's in my office. I'm using it as a fan."