A women was going through her husband's desk drawer and discovered three soybeans in an envelope containing thirty dollars in cash. So she asks her husband about it.
And the husband said, "Well, I have to confess. Over the years, I haven't been completely faithful to you. But every time I cheated, I put a soybean in the drawer to remind myself."
"So where did the thirty dollars come from?" she asked.
"Well, when soybeans hit ten dollars a bushel, I decided to sell."

A husband and wife had a new computer.
The computer required them to enter a new password.
Husband, feeling randy, typed in PENIS.
An error message appeared, saying 'PASSWORD REJECTED, NOT LONG ENOUGH'
The wife burst out laughing!!

Little boy walks into his parents bedroom and finds them having sex. His dad just laughs, throws a pillow at him and shouts at him to get out of the room. A little while later the dad hears a commotion coming from the young lads room. As he enters he is horrified to see the young lad having sex with his gran. The young lad turns and says "Not so fuckin funny when its your mum is it"

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules.

"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"

His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night ... whether you're here or not."

Bill Clinton dies and goes to hell.

The Devil is taking him on a tour showing him all the various punnisments people have received. Then they arrive in one room where Kenneth Starr is sitting on a bed and Monica Lewinski is performing oral sex.

"This is your room" said the Devil.

"This isn't so bad," said Clinton. "I can deal with this for eternity."

"Well, good." replied the Devil. "You can leave now, Monica"