One day this guy dies and, not surprisingly, goes to Hell. Upon arrival at the fiery gates, he is directed to a waiting room. He notices many clocks on the walls, and each one seems to be running at a different speed.

Satan finishes up with someone and comes out into the waiting room, where the guy says, "Hi, Mr. Satan. Enjoying Hell so far, but I have a question. What's with all the clocks in here?"

Satan smiles. "Oh, those aren't clocks. Each of those represents a man, and every time a man masturbates, his particular representation makes a complete revolution."

The guy seems intrigued and asks, "Do you know where mine is?"

"Yes," the Prince of Darkness replies. "It's in my office. I'm using it as a fan."