What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, made of plastic and is dangerous to small children.
The other has handles.

Bill Clinton dies and goes to hell.

The Devil is taking him on a tour showing him all the various punnisments people have received. Then they arrive in one room where Kenneth Starr is sitting on a bed and Monica Lewinski is performing oral sex.

"This is your room" said the Devil.

"This isn't so bad," said Clinton. "I can deal with this for eternity."

"Well, good." replied the Devil. "You can leave now, Monica"

A bear and a rabbit are relieving themselves in the woods. The bear looks at the rabbit and asks:
"Do you have a problem with feces sticking to your fur?"
"No," replies the rabbit.
So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

In a tribe in Africa, there is a missionary. One day, the Chief of the tribe's wife gave birth to a very light skinned child. The Chief was furious. He accused the missionary of getting his wife pregnant!

So the missionary takes the Chief to the pasture where the sheep are roaming and says:

"Chief, do you see those sheep out there? Notice how they are all white with the exception of the one black one?"

The Chief is quiet for a while, then looks at the missionary and replies:

"I won't say anything else about my wife if you don't say anything about the sheep."

Where is an elephant's sex organs?

In it's feet because if it steps on you, you're fucked.