A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules.

"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"

His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night ... whether you're here or not."

What do you call a man who lost 75% of his intellegence?

Divorced

If a man alone in the woods speaks, and his wife cannot hear him. Is he still wrong?

A guy walks into a bar and demands to know "Who's the strongest in here?"

The toughest guy looks at him and says "I am the strongest around here!"

The other guy politely asks "Can you help me push my car to the gas station?"

Gearry is an avid fisherman, and when he finally gets a vacation day, he heads to the nearest lake for a beautiful day of fishing. Three hours later, he hasn't caught a thing. What makes it worse is that a young boy has been nearby for less than 20 minutes, and he keeps reeling in the fish!

Gearry approaches the boy. "How are you catching all those fish?! I haven't gotten anything in three hours! I wasn't even sure there were any fish in this lake!"

The boy mumbles something. Gearry can't understand him and asks him to repeat himself. The boy mumbles again and is again asked to repeat what he said.

Finally, the boy spits something into his hand and says, "You have to keep the worms warm!"