A football player comes into the church and asks the priest:
- "Good day holy father. Would it be a sin for me to play the game on Sundays?"
- "My son... I've been watching your games, and it would be a sin for you to play on any day"

Bed Football
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An old man was in bed with his wife when suddenly he let out a loud fart. He yelled, "7 points!"

His wife looked at him and said, "What the hell are you doing?"

He simply replied, "Just playing bed football."

Ten minutes later the wife let a loud one and said, "Tie game - 7,7."

The husband's competitive side kicked in and he started starting straining... when suddenly he crapped his pants! His wife looks over and said, "Now what's the score?"

He said, "Still 7,7. End of quarter switch sides!!!"